Film reviews: Mamma Mia! Here we go again, Hotel Artemis and Madame

Lorraine Kelly admitted as much when she hosted the World Premiere of the jukebox musical sequel in London on Monday night, although that didn’t stop the titan of breakfast TV from sharing a short, gushing review.

Maybe she was tired (she’s rarely up that late), because I doubt even director Ol Parker would agree that this is, “the best film. Ever”. I will admit, though, that it is slightly more polished than the 2008 original.

Pierce Brosnan launches only a stealthy sing-speaking attack on SOS instead of full-blown GBH.

Poor old Colin Firth doesn’t get a chance to sing at all. His only musical moment is a short but very energetic burst of dad dancing during the big finale.

Now most of the heavy lifting is done by professionals. Cher pops up in the final act as Amanda Seyfried’s glamorous granny while stage school graduate Lily James takes charge of most of the early songs as a young version of Meryl Streep’s Donna.

They both put in accomplished turns but the funniest nights I’ve had at karaoke have involved inept singers earnestly murdering classics.

When proficient wannabes start hogging the microphone I usually head to the bar, which could be why the best bits of the first film were also technically the worst.

Still, James’s efforts seemed to go down well enough on Monday night. The row of reality TV stars sat in front of me seemed particularly taken with the young actress.

Whenever she burst into song they stopped talking, put down their mobile phones and emitted loud, high-pitched screams. The lady sat next them was probably screaming too – silently and for very different reasons.

Sadly, the plot (which Kelly urged us not to reveal,) isn’t quite so exciting.

We begin with the sad news of Donna’s death, although if you’ve seen the trailer you’ll know this doesn’t stop Meryl Streep from reprising Super Trouper in the big finale.

It’s now a year after her demise and her grieving daughter Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is putting the finishing touches to the Greek Island hotel her mother always dreamed of.

All the stars from the first film are invited to the Grand Opening but the ferry has been cancelled due to bad weather.

Will the storm pass in time for the big night? While we ponder this nail-biter, Parker and co-writer Richard Curtis milk the suspense by copying the structure of The Godfather Part II.

A series of extended flashbacks take us to 1979 and explain why the free-spirited Donna didn’t know who fathered her only daughter.

After inappropriately bursting into a minor Abba album track (most of their hits were used up in 2008) at her university graduation, Donna (now winsome Lily) sets out across Europe to “make memories”.

This leads to a succession of quick romances with young hunks – stuffy Englishman Harry (Hugh Skinner as the younger Colin Firth), Swedish sailor Bill (Josh Dylan as the young Stellan Skarsgard) and the softly-spoken Sam (Jeremy Irvine as the young Pierce Brosnan).

There are a few funny lines but the impressions are of a bit of a mixed bag. Jessica Keenan Wynn and Alexa Davies are pitch perfect as young versions of Christine Baranski and Julie Walters but James neither looks nor sounds like Streep.

And you can see Curtis’s hand in Hugh Skinner’s Harry. The bumbling English virgin is more Four Weddings Hugh Grant than Pride And Prejudice Colin Firth.

Of course, none of this really matters.

This is a summer party of a film and the star attractions are the sun-kissed setting, fabulous stars and kitschy songs and dances.

“Fernando, is that you?” Cher says to a Mexican caretaker after she lands on the island by helicopter. At this point, resistance seemed futile. Andy Garcia was going to perform a duet with Cher. After a slow start, the party was about to begin in earnest. I was grateful for the invite.

Hotel Artemis ★★★★✩ (15, 94 mins)

A strange phenomenon exists where movies with very similar concepts are released around roughly the same time.

Notable “twin films” include reality TV satires The Truman Show and EdTV, period magician dramas The Illusionist and The Prestige, and cheesy Washington terror attack action flicks White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen.

Now there are B-movie siblings John Wick and Hotel Artemis, both sci-fi thrillers set in US hotels used exclusively by career criminals. The former brought Keanu Reeves back to the big screen while Oscar winner Jodie Foster makes a barnstorming return after a six-year hiatus in the latter.

Foster is the Artemis’s troubled manager and on-site doctor, the Nurse. It’s her medical skills that make the Los Angeles hotel so popular, because while it looks like a boutique hotel, its actually a high-tech clinic.

With help from her hulking partner Everest (Dave Bautista), the Artemis specialises in patching up gunshot wounds that would attract unwanted attention in the accident and emergency department.

We check-in on an especially busy night in 2028, when the rich are richer and the poor are poorer and a crimewave is becoming a city-wide riot. The Nurse and Everest’s guests include bank robbers, an assassin and arms dealer and a wounded cop whom the Nurse has smuggled in through the back door. Then a figure from her past throws a spanner in the works.

Jeff Goldblum is The Wolf King, LA’s top crime boss who has been seriously injured in an assassination attempt.

There are a lot of moving parts and Pearce shuffles his pack expertly before a couple of plot holes open up in the action packed finale. But Foster is brilliant. Her backstory (about the dead child), is familiar but she brings soul, determination and dark humour to the role. It’s a part that was definitely worth waiting for.

Toni Collette and Harvey Keitel provide the star wattage but Spanish actress Rossy de Palma is the heart of Madame.

In this gentle comedy Collette and Keitel play rich Americans Anne and Bob Fredericks, living in Paris, who have two very relatable problems.

First, how to organise the quick sale of a Renaissance masterpiece when it hasn’t been authenticated.

Second, what to do if you’re hosting a glitzy dinner for the Lord Mayor of London and discover an unlucky 13 people are sitting at your dinner table.

Snobby Anne’s solution to the second problem has consequences for the first. She squeezes her hefty Spanish maid Maria (de Palma) into one of her posh frocks and gets her to pose as an aristocratic friend.

To her horror, Maria’s down-to-earth humour wins the heart of the art expert (Michael Smiley) upon whom the sale of the aforesaid painting depends. The jokes could be sharper but de Palma ensures we are always on the side of her unlikely Cinderella.